Asenath by Anna Patricio
★★★★☆
Asenath was not always her name, and she was not always from a powerful and wealthy Egyptian family. When she was young, her life was changed forever when she was kidnapped and never saw her family again. After some time, she was saved from her horrible fate and given a new life as a servant. While she did her duties, a couple became taken with her and, having always wanted a child of their own, decided to adopt her. This started her life as Asenath, again changing her life forever.
Asenath had everything she could have dreamed of and lived very well, but she still felt an emptiness until she met Joseph. He made her feel things she had never felt before, and she enjoyed talking to him. Unfortunately, fate was not on their side, and, just as she was able to see him again, he was taken away from her, sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Asenath had to go on with her life, hoping there would be a way to get him out.
This book surprised me. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure about it, especially since I don’t normally read historical fiction. The love part is probably what mostly caught my attention; I always like a good love story. After I got past the beginning, I began getting into it, and, as I got farther in, I found myself wanting to turn the pages more and more to find out what would happen next.
I really was taken in by the love story, which was probably my favorite part. I often forgot that the story was taking place in Egypt. It had a forbidden love thing going on because Joseph wasn’t in the same “class” as her, and, especially because he went to jail, the entire time, I’m screaming in my head at her parents, “Hello, she was a servant before you adopted her!” It was a great love story that came full circle. It even had a twist that I never saw coming. I really loved it and was like, “Oh my, that is amazing.” It really touched my heart.
The author did really well with this book. I don’t know much about the Egyptian time, but I felt like the author gave me a good feel of the time and place. I liked the characters, and they felt real. The author impressed me, and she did great with the beginning, middle, and end, bringing the story full circle in one book. It had a good ending and didn’t leave me expecting another book because it felt complete.
I received a request from the author to review this book.
-Christie’s Book Reviews
Why didn’t you stay?
Why didn’t you stay?
You said someday I will be able to spend,
All the time I want with you.
Telling me not to give up hope.
You etched those words onto paper,
So I would always remember.
The words haunt me,
Like the poison that took you away.
It works its way through me,
Paralyzing me.
My breathing becomes labored
As it reaches my heart.
Why couldn’t you stay,
And protect me from this pain?
Instead you left,
Without saying goodbye.
Leaving me to live,
With bad memories.
You weren’t there to make me laugh,
When I had a bad day.
You weren’t there,
When my heart got shattered into a million little pieces.
I had to pick up each piece by myself.
I needed you,
But you weren’t there.
You didn’t sit on the hot bleachers,
Watching me while the wind blew off my graduation cap,
While I waited to cross the platform,
That was ending that chapter in my life.
You weren’t there for important moments in my life.
I couldn’t show you my engagement ring,
After I was proposed to.
You will never meet my fiancé,
Or even be there on my wedding day.
Why didn’t you stay?
You left before you got to know me.
Never seeing the person I became,
And all of the obstacles I overcame.
You missed the day I began writing,
Never knowing that you wrote yourself.
I didn’t get to discover we had that in common,
Until you were already gone.
I sit here wanting to know you,
Knowing I will never be able to,
The way I deserve.
All I have are some pages in a book
And the stories people tell me.
I have foggy memories I can barely grasp.
Disjointed images from the past.
I can’t remember your voice,
Or the last time I heard it.
How long had it been,
Before I saw you lying in that bed?
Slipping away,
On that rainy July day.
I remember wishing that I could be enough,
For you to live each day coherently.
Instead you continued to drink the poison,
Until it finally consumed you.
Leaving me wondering,
Why I wasn’t ever enough?
Years went by before the anger began to subside.
The pain and loss hitting me at full force.
Now that my walls have come down,
I feel everything I had blocked for so long.
Wondering if I could have,
Stopped you from leaving.
If I hadn’t been angry
And had spoken to you,
Would you still be here now?
Could I have stopped the poison,
From seeping into you,
Taking over your body?
All I want,
Is to go back,
and save you.
©Christie Cote
December 19, 2011
Hiding Who I Am
Hiding Who I Am
Why do you ask me to hide myself
Taking away who I am inside
Telling me it is not ok
To reflect myself
In things I do and say
Who are you to say
That these things are not ok
You chip away at me
Slowly making me into
The robot you want me to be
Individuality is just a dream
I’m living in a world
Where it is not invited
I must talk a certain way
And act following your standards
Or I will not be accepted
Losing myself along the way
So I can walk among you
How will I stand out
If you make me like everyone else
Soon you will not be able
To tell me apart from anyone else
I will just blend in
Lost in the sea of sameness
© Christie Cote
February 9, 2010
Lost Friend
Lost Friend
It has been years since we have been friends
Why do I still think of you
It still hurts to see your name
I’m the one who walked away
But I tried to come back
Wanted to make things right
Why did you say it was ok
If you were just going to turn your back on me anyways
Those words hit me hard
I still don’t understand
You find me in my dreams
But when I awake your not there
I never stopped caring about you
I hear songs and think about you
I can even hear your voice singing along
All I have left is my memories
I can’t forget you
The friendship we had
Was special
I regret every day
Losing the connection we had
How did we go from being so close
To not knowing each other at all
I want to talk to you to hear your voice
And laugh with you about the past
Watching you play piano singing from your heart
I was your number one fan
But first I was your best friend
As you get closer to your dream
Don’t forget where you came from
Remember your friends that stood beside you
In the very beginning
© Christie Cote
May 4, 2010
Looking Back
Looking Back
Today I find myself
Looking back
Thinking about how it should have been
Regrets are spread across the past
Trading in people who mattered
For one unforgiving mistake
Wanting to go back
Choosing the other path
Life has found its way
To where I am today
This person I have become
Is who I want to be
Both roads would have lead to here and now
Unfortunately the path I followed
Left behind the people
Who mattered most
My heart feels the loss
I clearly still care
After all this time
I have the memories stored
And the thoughts of the ones that could have been
I can never get back
What I lost
Part of me hoping they understand
Disappointment in myself
For going against
Everything I was
Turning into a robot
Who couldn’t make choices
Or let my own voice be heard
When I went down that path
I became programmed
Stuck until I overrode it
Finding my voice again
Knowing I wasn’t the only one
Who got hurt in the process
Part of my life was taken away
A part I will never get back
My heart
Will always bare the scar
That will have the memories underneath
No matter where life takes me
I will always remember
© Christie Cote
August 4, 2010
The beauty of the sun
The Beauty Of The Sun
When the sun sets
It’s a beauty of
All the memories
You have…
And when the world goes dark
Things seem impossible…
But don’t give up
The Sun will rise once again
©Christie Cote
December 6, 2005
Distant Memory
Distant Memory
Tears spill down my face
I just can’t get away
This pain
So real, so deep
Consumes my heart
Who do you think you are?
Winning me
The prize you sought
Then throwing me away
Like a worthless souvenir
You picked up along the way
I looked for the good
That I thought I saw
Giving you a chance
To hold my heart
Instead you crushed it
Without a care
Stripping the mask you held
Finding the cold heart
Hidden beneath
Don’t have feelings
I don’t care to stay
This game you play
Won’t touch me
Soon you will see
How strong I can be
Soon you will be
Like a distant memory
A beautiful rose
With thorns that pierced me
The wounds heal
As if it never happened
It will be
As if you don’t exist
©Christie Cote
October 21, 2010
Scars
Scars
The scars that mark me
Can’t be seen
They wrap themselves around
A fragile part of me
Where I feel every one
Some start out small
Even unnoticeable
Until they grow
Not being able to ignore
The pain that is really there
It was hidden for so long
The appearance hits me hard
Taking my breath away
Somehow my heart still beats
With the scars that cover it
This heart once unmarked
Is a canvas for scars
They seem to spread
Like a burning fire
That can’t be put out
I feel each one
Like I’m touching the flame
The burning starts out subtle
Then becomes unbearable
To lose this pain
I must reconcile
The mistake I made
So long ago
I can’t hide
The pain I feel inside
It is too strong
To hold onto
Without losing hope
Happiness so far away
My heart wont be content
Until certain scars are healed
© Christie Cote
September 30,2010
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